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Friday, May 28, 2010

Worst on the team...Yep that's Me!


How many times have you heard that Tiger Woods is an amazing athlete? Every member of the sports media has said it @ some point. In fact I think they might even be contractually obligated to mention that @ least once every time they talk about Tiger. There's no question that Tiger Woods is an amazing...golfer. I can't say for absolute certainty that Tiger is a good athlete much less an amazing one. I've never seen him hit a jump shot & I have serious concerns about his ability to hit a 97mph fastball. So what exactly is my point? It's actually quite simple. GOLF IS NOT A SPORT! I won't argue that golf is a game but a sport might be stretching things a bit. Allow me to explain.

Every spring the golf tournaments come out of the woodwork. What makes these tournaments great is the fact that you can be the world's worst golfer & still contribute to your team winning. That's right, best ball scrambles make bad golfers, drum roll please, slightly less bad golfers. What sport has a tournament where 4 people team up, each hit the ball from the exact same spot & then play the best shot? How does this make sense? Wouldn't you think that each person on the team would need to bring something to the table? So if I am horrible (which I am) & hit a bad shot who cares as long as someone else on the team hits a better one. Golf has A,B,C & D players. Take me for example. I'm a Y player. As in why do I bother even trying to play this stupid game?! See I said game. Not sport, game! Now I'm sure you may be thinking, "well Andrew you're obviously bitter because you are an awful golfer." I can only say one thing to that...Damn right I'm bitter because I'm an awful golfer! But I will say something now that might surprise you...I don't mind being the worst player on the team. In fact I kind of like it.

Take what happened in my most recent golf outing. "We" were playing pretty well. And yes I can say we because "we" were a team & just because I can only contribute once or twice a round doesn't mean "WE" aren't playing well. Anyway, "we" all hit our shots hoping to get a ball on the green. The other 3 guys hit their shots which weren't the best. @ that point they began complaining about how hard our next shot was going to be. That's when I chimed in & said, "we can play my shot. It's right there in front of the green." Well apparently hell had just frozen over because they look down the course then look @ one another & low & behold there's Andrew with a nice shot. The response from my good old teammates? "Well I guess we can play Andrew's shot." Are you kidding me?! You guess? Last I checked your shots sucked so you're damn right "we can play Andrew's shot!"

So why do I like being the team's worst golfer? Let's just say that any good shot I hit is a bonus. There's no expectation. All I have to do show up hit a few wild & crazy shots, get a few laughs & listen to others ask the same question every damn time. "Are you really going to play barefoot?" Seriously? Have you seen my game? How in the hell would shoes make one bit of difference? If I'm going to suck I might as well be comfortable, right? I have actually been known to hit a ball @ a 90 degree angle. If you're not familiar with golf there isn't a hole on the course that's 90 degrees from the tee box. In fact it's usually best to hit the ball straight ahead rather than due right. Who knew the only time my 10th grade geometry would factor into my life would be 90 degree shots on a freaking golf course. Anyway I would rather be the worst golfer on the team than the second or third best golfer. Who remembers those guys? The answer to that riddle is no one. I may be a bad golfer & nine times out of ten I am probably the worst golfer on the team (there actually is one person I play with that makes me look good so shut it) but @ the end of the day when my teammates, & God help us anyone else that saw our team play, are talking about 2 people on our team I can promise you they will mention the best player on our team & you guessed it...me!